Info on Sex

THIS SECTION IS DEDICATED ESP TO TEENS

It's Your (Sex) Life

Of course it’s your body and it’s up to you what you do with it. That’s why you need to make intelligent choices to protect yourself from accidental pregnancy and nasty diseases, as well as the emotional fallout that can occur from having sex with the wrong person. Making smart sexual decisions is easier than you might think—all it takes is a little foresight and planning before you’re in the heat of the moment. So make the effort to safeguard your physical and emotional health now and in the long-term.

As a first step, it’s very important to know your own body. Knowing what is “normal” for you is important so that you can tell when something is different.

If you’re a woman, you should pay attention to how often your menstrual periods are, how much you normally bleed, and what kind of discomfort (if any) you have with your period. A simple and easy thing to do is to mark when your periods start and end on a calendar. Between your periods, you should know what your own vaginal discharge is like, so that you can tell if something changes. Being aware of how your body normally is will help you know if you develop any symptoms that may signal an unintended pregnancy or sexually-transmitted disease.

If you’re a man, you need to be aware if you develop any skin changes (like sores) on your genitals, or if you develop any discharge from your penis or discomfort when you urinate; these could be signs of a sexually-transmitted disease.

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THIS POIN ONWARDS IS DEDICATED ESP TO GIRLS

What IS virginity, and what does it mean? What is the standard definition?

By the most standard modern-day definition, when people talk about a "virgin," they're talking about someone who has not had sexual intercourse of the penis-and-vagina variety. The word virgin, however, from the Greek and Latin words for amn and woman and really means "androgyne" or a person who is whole unto themselves, or "chaste maiden." But that doesn't mean today what it did then: in ancient times, that meant a woman -- or a goddess like the virgin huntress Diana -- who was on her own, and not owned by any man, nor did she wish to be. However, the meaning and implication of the term came to change around the 13th century and derived a sexual and moralistic meaning.

How The Meaning Changed ?

With that change, the word now implied that staying a virgin until marriage guaranteed that a woman would uphold the family honor by passing from father to husband as an object that was owned -- her virginity was a thing of value that would be owned by her father, until such time as ownership of her virginity and sexuality would be transferred to her husband. Some of the reason for this was to establish a higher "bride price," at a time when marriage was utilized to gain land and a dowry (and a virginal bride was more of a bargaining chip than a real partner in the true sense of the word). Another was that at that time, given the lack of birth control, having strict controls on virginity helped to see to it that there were fewer illegitimate (born outside of marriage) children born.

As may be obvious, none of this has a lot of bearing in our modern world. In fact, when you think about it, it's downright insulting. But it also excludes a whole lot of people from the picture.

The concept of a virgin as someone who hasn't had penis-in-vagina intercourse leaves a lot of people out in the cold. Defining sex by male-to-female intercourse would make a lesbian who has had over one hundred female partners, but no male partners, a virgin. The standard definition of virginity also denotes that a woman is not a fully sexual being until she has made love with a man. Very little of this is positive or empowering to you, and it leaves a lot of loopholes.

How Do I Know If I'm a Virgin?

Okay, but if I still buy all this crap about virginity, how do I know if I am one? How do -- or did -- people tell if someone was a virgin?
For starters, we have more loopholes with this definition now than we did before. In the Middle ages, you wouldn't have been able to get around this by saying "I had oral sex, but not intercourse." Rumor traveled fast, and your neighbors (and potential in-laws) would have found out about your liaisons, and what you did and didn't do would have had little relevance: you had been with a man in the Biblical sense, and therefore, were unchaste.
There were also more ridiculous tests done in the past: they may have conducted a urine test, under the notion that a virgin's urine should always be clear and never cloudy. They may have even looked at which way a woman's breasts point, and a virgin's breasts were supposed to point up. In old lore, women may have been given a magic cup to drink from, and those women who attempted to drink from it and were not chaste or faithful to their husbands spilled the wine. Of course, all of these things are fallacy. The color of urine has nothing to do with virginity, and everything to do with health, diet, and hormonal changes. Breast size and shape varies according to body type, shape and muscle and fat tone, and whether or not you spill your wine has to do with if you're a klutz or not -- or how much wine you've been drinking!
All that you can truly tell from all these silly tests is that it's always been pretty darned hard to tell if a woman has had sexual intercourse or not. One of the biggest myths about being able to tell if a woman's a virgin that is still commonly accepted is the idea that you can tell if a woman has had intercourse by whether or not her hymen is torn.For further Information on next time

The main point of trying new sexual positions is not to win the Sexual Olympics but to keep things interesting and exciting. Of course, if this helps to delay ejaculation and provides both (or even just one) of you with extra pleasure, then that is an added bonus.

There's nothing new under the sun, of course. No matter how exciting or different a position seems to you, someone, somewhere, has tried it before. Wall paintings in Ancient Egypt, 3000 years old, show couples having sex with the woman on top! Of course, as we now know, the woman on top position allows either you or she easy access to her clitoris - so she can potentially come during intercourse if thrusting alone isn't enough to bring her to orgasm and she needs some extra help to get there. What's more, she can ride you just as she needs to get the right pressure on her clitoris from pressing her pubic mound against your penis or your body.

And men may find that they have greater control if their partner is riding them on top. The counterpoint of male tension, deep thrusting, orgasm and quick ejaculation (i.e. what tends to happen when you're in the man on top sex position) is muscular relaxation, lack of thrusting and not being tired (i.e. what happens when she's on top). In other words, having her ride you means your sex is likely to last for longer.

So in this position you get to last longer, and she gets to ride you in exactly the way she needs to get her clitoris stimulated. And, what's more, if she wants to, she can tease you to the limits of your endurance, sliding slowly up and down your penis until you explode in a massive orgasm.

As an added bonus, if she's in control, she can adjust the angle of your penis, by leaning back or forwards, so that her G-spot gets the attention it needs. She can vary the depth, pace and rhythm of thrusting. This can give her a big kick, not to mention challenging the assertion that sex is a patriarchal, male dominated act.

Don't forget that your hands are free as you lie on your back with her on top of you, so you can caress her buttocks, breasts, face and any other place you fancy.

Lastly, if you have problems with her being in the "female superior" (as the experts would put it) position, forget it. It's pleasure that comes first, not sexual politics.

There are some interesting variations on the woman on top. The basic woman on top position is that she sits on you, facing you. I guess we all know that. But how about she sits on you, facing away from you? Or that she lies full length on you, face to face. That can be sexy, though you may not get deep penetration; and if she keeps her legs together, the tightness of her vagina can be very exciting for you (which might make you come quickly!) And a more difficult variation of this position is to have her lie on her back on your stomach and chest, with your penis inside her. Again, this will only allow shallow penetration, but it can feel satisfying.

Who says it's boring? Yes, it may be the bread and butter position for sex, but it does have some very significant advantages. It's loving, romantic, and easy to kiss, you have full body contact, and it can feel fulfilling for the man (a dominant position speaks to the male subconscious) and satisfying for the woman (she may feel safe and dominated - which can speak to her deepest sense of feminine self). You can also keep eye to eye contact.

If you want to dominate her, or she wants to be "taken", then this is the position in which you can both fulfill your desires.

Some say this sex position is good for pregnancy: the vagina tends to retain more semen. Well, that may be so, but I doubt there's any real evidence for that. What's more certain is that you may need to support yourself if you weigh more than she does, unless she likes being really pinned down. Worse, you're much more likely to come quickly because of the muscle tension that develops when you hold your weight on your elbows or arms (muscle tension spreads through your back, shoulders and pelvis. And when these muscles are tense, you tend to ejaculate more quickly).

And if the standard old in-and-out, penis-in-the-vagina, routine of sex ever gets to be a bit boring, you can modify your missionary position. She can keep her legs together, between yours, so her vagina tightens up on your penis. While this will be exciting and arousing for you, she might even find that this positional subtlety gives her clitoris more stimulation too.

It's all about the angle of her legs, how far back she has them, and how tightly she holds them together. The higher she raises them, the deeper your penis can penetrate her. The closer together she has them, the tighter her vagina. This may sound like the missionary position is just about a woman sexually satisfying her man, but it isn't: if she raises her pelvis slightly (by putting a cushion under her buttocks, for example), your penis will thrust against her G-spot more firmly, and if she's the sensitive type, she'll be having G-spot sensations (like "exquisite electricity", as my partner puts it) in no time at all.

You can invent your own modified missionary, too. If you're thrusting in the conventional, lying down missionary position, try starting sex with the man kneeling on the bed, knees widely spread. Lift her legs over your thighs, so her thighs are wide apart, her vulva is open and her pelvis is lifted. Then enter her and thrust - your penis hits her G-spot more than before.

If she's supple, she can maybe put her legs over your shoulders. If not, she can put her feet on your chest, and if your penis is long enough, you'll still be able to enter her and thrust. But that might not be for you if you see the missionary position as a way to establish greater closeness and intimacy - both physical and emotional. Sex is, after all, at its best when it combines the emotional, the spiritual and the physical. The missionary is a great position for doing that.

Even so, here's a sexy variation, which may be so arousing that it is more physical than spiritual. Have her lie on her back with her legs apart, a pillow beneath her bottom to raise her hips, with the soles of her feet touching, and her knees bent. Enter her; this position makes for very enjoyable sex for both partners.

Riding high is a wonderful term. Basically, you shift up her body once your penis is firmly inside her, so that your pubic bone presses on her clitoris as you thrust. Or, rather, you don't thrust so much as rock. It's a gentle up-and-down movement, with short movements of the penis in-and-out of her vagina about two inches at a time. Frankly, I've never really understood it, despite the number of times it's been described on sex websites. But once, when I was gently moving on my partner and she had her ankles resting on my claves, she was transported by the sensations of her clitoris being stimulated. Somehow, we'd just found the CAT position by chance, and yes, it worked. But sadly, we've never found it again!

It's usually thought of as a loving, connected position in which to enjoy sex. And it's easy on both of you - no heavy bodyweight to support, no pressure or squashing as one of you lies on top of the other. Sex at it's finest? Well, maybe yes, maybe no. There's not much room for thrusting, so if you want a heavy duty session of rumpy-pumpy, this may not be first choice. On the other hand, you can delay ejaculation for a fine old time, and you can gaze deeply into each others' eyes while you caress and kiss, which makes sex feel more connected. And, come to think of it, I did have one of my finest orgasms in this position: that glorious moment of "Oh God, I'm going to come" seemed to go on for ever - and it was much more intense, too - and when I finally did ejaculate, it was incredibly powerful and satisfying. The secret to this is probably in the long build up to ejaculation which side-by-side sex produces: for the longer the prelude to sex, the more intense the orgasm, and this position can certainly be very long-lasting (premature ejaculators take note!).

The most well known form of the side-by-side position is facing each other - you start in the missionary and roll over. Easy. As long as you both roll the same direction. The most common variation is the "spoons", where you both face the same way and the man enters his partner from behind. Not so easy, unless you have a larger penis, for you may well find you're quite likely to slip out. Still, there's no such thing as bad sex.

Ah yes. The favorite position of many men. Deep penetration, and very exciting if you're into the more "animal" side of sex. But maybe a bit too stimulating. I mean, which man can resist the sight of his penis, glistening with her vaginal juices, moving in and out between her buttocks? But it's not good for premature ejaculators, that's for sure - too much stimulation, too much pressure on his penis, too much hip thrusting, all add up to a quick explosion!

Having said that, it does give deep penetration and it certainly stimulates her G-spot. You may need to adjust the height of her hips to enable easy entry into her vagina: this is true whether you're in the classic rear entry position for sex - i.e. she's kneeling (head up or head down) and you're kneeling behind her - or one of the popular variations - for example, she's lying down and you're on top of her.

For men who like a sense of control, rear entry allows them to grasp their partner by the waist (and possibly play with her clitoris and breasts); for a woman who likes to get in on the act, there's always the opportunity to thrust her hips back and forth in time with her mate's thrusting (or even for her to do the thrusting while he remains still, thereby giving him a sensational penis massage with her vagina).

A good position for a man who has trouble going on for a long time before he ejaculates. And a very easy position to have sex in, too. The man sits on a chair with his partner straddling him and facing him. She can control the depth of penetration and rise up and down as she chooses. The obvious variation is to have sex while she faces away from you.

It's a fact - coming at the same time as your partner does make sex more intense. OK, that's actually an opinion, but that's sure how it seems. The problem, of course is that people come to see it as an end in itself rather than as a desirable adjunct to sex. But supposing that you wan to achieve it, how do you go about it?

The problem, of course is that men are quicker to arouse, and take less time to come, than women. Women need more stimulation, more foreplay and more sensuous, romantic and loving energy to feel sexy than men do. So the ideal position for simultaneous orgasm is one in which a man can slow down his ejaculation while his partner continues to move on towards her climax.

Some couples can do this in the man on top position, but it requires good control on his part. If he has good ejaculatory control, he can thrust slowly to stimulate her while he remains below his own point of ejaculatory inevitability (which means he will come, whatever happens. You probably know that particular pleasure point). If she's not responsive or sensitive in her G-spot, either partner may need to play with her clitoris to stimulate her and keep her moving towards orgasm.

An alternative approach is to get her well and truly aroused before he enters her - cunnilingus, masturbation, a vibrator are all good ways of doing this - so that it takes only a little more stimulation to tip her over the edge into orgasm after he has begun to enjoy the sensation of thrusting in her vagina.

But there is another way which takes all the pressure off a couple - forget about simultaneous orgasm and just make sure she has an orgasm before he enters her. And in that respect, here's an interesting fact: with only twenty minutes of foreplay, over 90% of women will reach orgasm during oral sex or masturbation. A smaller number (always less than a quarter in any survey that's been conducted) will reach orgasm during intercourse.

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